A little humor for you LEO's

[Big_Dave]

These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

#16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder that the one you just went through."

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

# 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

The envelope please.....................

AND THE WINNER IS....

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
:rofl:

[USAF_2T2]

I have used #14.

The way I used it was when a guy started to reach into the inner pocker of his coat. I told him already once not to do it.

I said, "if you try to reach in that coat again, I'm gonna make your birth certificate a worthless piece of paper."

I got a lost look from him, then when it hit him what I said he didn't even think of it again. I had him take his coat off and searched it (with consent) and found his little baggie of weed.

[hellcat_99]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Deputy_Dogg]

If used # 3, # 4 a lot, # 7 and #12 only I ask them if they can run faster then my dog, then go ahead and run!!!

[Big_Dave]

Speaking of 'quotas'.........A couple weeks ago I got DOT'd at the e/b Chesterton IN scale on I-94. When she was finished, I told her to have a good day and she mentioned something about "only got about 10 more of these to do before I'm done for the day".

I asked her if they had 'quotas'. She said her boss calls them 'goals'. :wacko: