Harry
March 17th, 2005, 20:32
When the Lord was creating truck drivers, he was into his sixth day
of overtime when an angel appeared and said, "You're doing a lot of
fiddling around on this one." And the Lord said, "Have you read the
spec on this order?" A truck driver has to be able to drive 10-12
hours per day, through any type of weather, on any type of road,
know the hiway traffic laws of 48 states and 10 provinces, he has to
be ready and able to unload 40,000 lbs of cargo after driving thru
the night, sleep in areas of cities that the police refuse to
patrol."
He has to be able to live in his truck 24 hours a day 7 days a week
for weeks on end, offer first aid and motorist assistance to his
fellow travelers, meet just in time schedules, and still maintain an
even and controlled composure when all around him appear to have gone
mad." "He has to be in top physical condition at all times, running
on black coffee and half eaten meals; he has to have six pairs of
hands." The angel shook her head slowly and said, "six pair of
hands....no way." It's not the hands that are causing me problems,"
said the Lord. "It's the three pairs of eyes a driver has to have."
That's on the standard model?" asked the angel. The Lord
nodded. "One pair that sees the herd of deer in the thickets 3 miles
away" "Another pair here in the side of his head for the blind spots
that motorists love to hide in; and another pair of eyes that can
look reassuringly at the bleeding victim of a drunk driver that
crashed into his ICC bumper at 70MPH and say," "You'll be all right
ma'am, when he knows it isn't so." "Lord," said the angel, touching
his sleeve, "rest and work tomorrow." "I can't," said the Lord, "I
already have a model that can drive 650 miles a day, without
incident and can raise a family of five without ever seeing them, on
30 cents a mile." The angel circled the model of the truck driver
very slowly, "can't it think?" she asked. "You bet," said the
Lord. "It can tell you the elements of every HAZMAT load invented;
recite Federal Motor Carrier Regulations rules and regs in his sleep;
deliver, pickup, be a father, offer timely advice to strangers,
search for missing children, defend a woman's or children's rights,
get 8 hours of good rest on the street and raise a family of law
respecting citizens, without ever going home....and still it keeps
its sense of humor." "This driver also has a phenominal personal
control. He can deal with delivery and pickup created from scenes
painted in hell, coax a lumper to actually work for his money,
comfort an accident victim's family, and then read in the daily
paper how truck drivers are nothing more than killers on wheels and
have no respect for the rights of others while using the nations
hiways.
"Finally", the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek
of the driver. "There's a leak," she pronouced. "I told you that you
were trying to put too much into this model." "That's not a leak,"
said the Lord. "It's a tear." "What's the tear for?" asked the
angel. "It's for bottled up emotions, for fallen comrades, for
commitment to that funny piece of cloth called the flag, for
justice, for the family without its father." "You're a genius," said
the angel. The Lord looked somber. "I didn't put it there."
of overtime when an angel appeared and said, "You're doing a lot of
fiddling around on this one." And the Lord said, "Have you read the
spec on this order?" A truck driver has to be able to drive 10-12
hours per day, through any type of weather, on any type of road,
know the hiway traffic laws of 48 states and 10 provinces, he has to
be ready and able to unload 40,000 lbs of cargo after driving thru
the night, sleep in areas of cities that the police refuse to
patrol."
He has to be able to live in his truck 24 hours a day 7 days a week
for weeks on end, offer first aid and motorist assistance to his
fellow travelers, meet just in time schedules, and still maintain an
even and controlled composure when all around him appear to have gone
mad." "He has to be in top physical condition at all times, running
on black coffee and half eaten meals; he has to have six pairs of
hands." The angel shook her head slowly and said, "six pair of
hands....no way." It's not the hands that are causing me problems,"
said the Lord. "It's the three pairs of eyes a driver has to have."
That's on the standard model?" asked the angel. The Lord
nodded. "One pair that sees the herd of deer in the thickets 3 miles
away" "Another pair here in the side of his head for the blind spots
that motorists love to hide in; and another pair of eyes that can
look reassuringly at the bleeding victim of a drunk driver that
crashed into his ICC bumper at 70MPH and say," "You'll be all right
ma'am, when he knows it isn't so." "Lord," said the angel, touching
his sleeve, "rest and work tomorrow." "I can't," said the Lord, "I
already have a model that can drive 650 miles a day, without
incident and can raise a family of five without ever seeing them, on
30 cents a mile." The angel circled the model of the truck driver
very slowly, "can't it think?" she asked. "You bet," said the
Lord. "It can tell you the elements of every HAZMAT load invented;
recite Federal Motor Carrier Regulations rules and regs in his sleep;
deliver, pickup, be a father, offer timely advice to strangers,
search for missing children, defend a woman's or children's rights,
get 8 hours of good rest on the street and raise a family of law
respecting citizens, without ever going home....and still it keeps
its sense of humor." "This driver also has a phenominal personal
control. He can deal with delivery and pickup created from scenes
painted in hell, coax a lumper to actually work for his money,
comfort an accident victim's family, and then read in the daily
paper how truck drivers are nothing more than killers on wheels and
have no respect for the rights of others while using the nations
hiways.
"Finally", the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek
of the driver. "There's a leak," she pronouced. "I told you that you
were trying to put too much into this model." "That's not a leak,"
said the Lord. "It's a tear." "What's the tear for?" asked the
angel. "It's for bottled up emotions, for fallen comrades, for
commitment to that funny piece of cloth called the flag, for
justice, for the family without its father." "You're a genius," said
the angel. The Lord looked somber. "I didn't put it there."