Once again I am a mean parent..........

[Uturn2001]

A little over a month ago my son talked his grandma into "buying" him a new computer. He convinced her that he would use his allowance to make the payments (min payment $30 a month).

Well of course he missed his first payment (seen that one coming didnt ya) because he refused to do his chores for which he earns his allowance. As a consequence I "repossed" his computer until he made 2 payments.

Now here is what really got his goat. After he finally earned enough to make 2 payments I told him that the second payment comes off the end and is not prepayment for next months payment and that if he fails to make next months payment on time the puter gets "repo'd" again.

He went on and on about how unfair that was. I let him rant until he finally sputtered out and simply told him that was how it is in the "real" world except that in the real world there is a good chance the item he bought on credit would probably have been sold off in short order and he would still have to pay the balance between what it was sold for and what was owed and he never would get it back.

Hopefully he will, sooner or later take this lesson to heart and remember it when he is older and goes to buy a car or a house or anything else on credit and has thoughts about skipping a payment.

So here I am a mean parent according to my kid and I couldn't be happier about it.

[Big_Dave]

Ahhh......you'd like my daughter. She thinks money grows on trees. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[towstrap]

Uturn2001, Thanks for standing up for what is right. Hopefully one day your child will thank you for teaching accountability.

Most of our kids are the way they are now a days because we give them what they want, NOT what they earn.

I'm not saying any of us are bad parents, but unlike the days when we grew up and you had to "earn" your keep, we try to make things easier on our kids by giving them stuff.

Making a kid pay his or her debt, and paying his or her gas / insurance is only teaching responsibility, not being mean.

Kudo's to you Uturn2001.

Hey UT, We are mena parents too!
The kids get an allowance for doing chores around the house. They have to put 10% toward tithing at church and 20% into savings, that leaves them 70% to do as they wish.
The oldest had been babysitting, and he thoughtthe percentages didn't apply to that money. :rofl:

Needless to say, he has gotten over it. :D


:clap: for mean parents.

[Kbenton]

Barbarians!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How dare you do such a thing as teach responsibility, discipline, right and wrong. Benjamin Spock, and the liberal tree huggers would surely disapprove of these archaic tactics. I'm calling the ACLU immediately. :D

[ATCO]

Very good post U-Turn, Excellent work in Parenting...
As you can see, several of us STILL believe in discipline and parenting being the same...
Good job! :clap:

[beanie baby]

Good job UT!! :D

I'm always a mean mom, so it doesn't matter, I'm used to it already!! :)

Barbarians!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How dare you do such a thing as teach responsibility, discipline, right and wrong. Benjamin Spock, and the liberal tree huggers would surely disapprove of these archaic tactics. I'm calling the ACLU immediately. :D


:rofl: :rofl: Go for it, I'm so scared, I'll even dial the number for you. :rofl: :rofl:

[CrusinAngel]

UT we're parents first, friends second is what I still tell my children who are now 31 and 29 yrs old. LOL

Talk about kids hating us! LOL When my girls were very young all their friends got an allowance every week for doing their chores - -my kids did NOT! I told them - -"Look noone pays dad and I for taking care of you and our home.We do however earn a wage for going to work outside of this home. So, if you want to earn a wage around here, dad and I will hire you to do some work besides your chores! Also, if you'd like to earn more than that, you may want to call your grandparents or visit a neighbor and ask them if they have some work for you to do to earn a little more!"

When the girls turned 16, I told them both - - "Go, get a part time job, you're going to need it to put gas in your car and pay for insurance etc."

At age 18 they were told- -"start looking for more work, you graduate this year and not only is your fun money and car your responsibility but you also have to start paying $35.00 per week to live here."- - They did all that and paid their "rent"(most of the time anyway LOL). At age 21 I was able to hand them a bank book that reflected the $35.00 per week they had paid in rent for the past 3 years as a good start in their adult lives. They were shocked and even a little angry at me for not telling them what I was doing but- -I told them - -"Like I have always said, I am your parent first, your friend second. The lesson you learned by paying your own way was me being a parent. The bank account is me being your friend!" ;)

My oldest daughter learned life's lessons very welland went on to obtain 3 college degrees at the top of her class maintaining a min 4.0 average throughout even during some very trying times. She has a loving husband and 2 beautiful children.

My youngest daughter marches to the beat of her own drummer and fights "the establishment and the right way" every step of the way. LOL

So *shrug* do what ya gotta do- - be a parent 1st a friend 2nd and then when they reach adulthood and choose for themselves at least you and they if they are honest will know they got the best you had to give in raising them. ;)

[sweet_whiskey]

I'm known to my nephews as "Aunt Money Pant's." They finally learned that Auntie doesn't give in like she use to. Tearing up tree limbs, mowing the front and back yard and weed eating gives them 20 bucks a piece. So far the middle boy earns his keep pretty well.

Why are kids getting lazy more these days?

I remember as a child my imagination was sooo wild. I was never bored, I was always out exploring, making the almighty $$ and being a child.

Now it's all about, " I want, I want, I want!" Yet, they aren't willing to work for it. That just makes me soo angry. :angry:

Uturn I think you did the right thing. You aren't in the wrong and in the future he'll appreciate it.

Sorry it took me so long to respond to this one... I can't keep up with all these threads.

[hellcat_99]

Cudos to you UT.
I raised my daughters as a single mother from the time they were 4 & 6.
There was never enough in the begining to do extras. the girls got their allowance & what they needed. I would come home to a clean house, & as they grew up they would have dinner on the table so we could all sit down together & hash out our days.
They both baby sat until they were old enought to get p/t jobs on weekends. No school nights were allowed. More time then not, their friends all came to our house. they had a good time, & had pretty much free reigh over the house. I was always with them. They had their sports & other activities also. this was all time consuming, but well worth the effort. As teenagers, they would want to stay up all night on Sat., so I would pack up as many as I could & head to go bowling, paintball, roller sakating. Anything we could all do & have fun. Many alone yrs I spent with my daughters.
Today, Tanya is 24, & married in May. Her & Jamie left yesterday for Nova Scotia. He's posted there with the Canadian Air Force for 3 yrs.
Tanya has been with the bank for 2 yrs now. They didn't want to lose her, as she has climed up the ladder with much success, so they got her transfered down east.
Melanie is 22, & is a top chef @ a convent. Scott, her husband finished his landscaping degree last winter. They have been married 3 yrs, & have a 7 mth old daughter Ally, who I ador.
Both my girls are good, & married well.
If I have done nothing right in my life, I raised to great daughters.
It's just to easy. Keep the door open. Talk, don't yell, try not to hit, tell them how they have let you down. Keep telling them you LOVE them.
Now for me, the hard part is letting go.
We all talk every day, & always will. Share laughter, tears, let downs, & now their new beginings.
Sorry for rambling, but when I read this, it brought tears to my eyes.
My babies are babies no more.
All the best & keep up the good work.

Holly :crying:

[CrusinAngel]

Holly.........

"Letting go" can be one of the toughest parts of parenting so...........

I didn't look at it that way .................

Instead.......I try to look at it like this...................

I am and will always be a parent 1st to my children...here when they need a shoulder or a helping hand .....BUT.........

Now that they are adults we have both gained a best friend in the times when they don't need me to be a parent! And now that they have given me grandkids- -i pour all my "motherly advice" on my kids about how to raise their kids! LOL

[hellcat_99]

Never looked @ it that way. Maybe I'm just being selfish.
Thankx CA.

Holly

[CrusinAngel]

Holly,

No- -you're not selfish at all!

You're just a good Mom whose having trouble "letting go" is all.

Glad my words gave you "food for thought". :)

[hellcat_99]

It's good to have others who have already gone through an adjustment in life. Keeps the mind on track.
Heard from Tanya an hr ago. They are now in Edmonston,NB. They spent 2 days in Montreal @ her dads.
She sounds so tired. It's been a long yr for them both. It'll be good for them to get to their new home & get settled in.
Thankx again.

Holly :cool:

[CrusinAngel]

Holly,

Glad to hear the kids are doing OK AND think of it this way.......

Once they're settled in.............You have a "virtually free" (not counting the help you'll give and the meals you'll cook etc lol) place to vacation!! LOL ;)

[hellcat_99]

You are so right on that one. :rofl: They let me know where the kitchen is as soon as I get to their place. :rofl: Tanya & Mel always tell me, make this your home away from home, & if you feel the need to clean, don't let me stop you. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Tanya called this am. The have arrived safe & sound. Now it's just to wait for their furniture to arrive & set up house.
I'm sure by the time I get down there, it'll need a good cleaning. :rofl:

Thankx again CA. :lover:

Holly

[hellcat_99]

I was just on the phone with my other daughter Melanie, & she got a text messge from her sister. It read," I want to come home." Of course I broke into :crying: I know she'll be ok, but any time she has gone on rd trips, the longest they lasted was 6mths, then she was home.
sigh......

Holly