Don't say this to a cop

[Admin]

The top 20 things not to say to a cop when he pulls you over.

20. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

19. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

18. Aren't you the guy from the villiage people?

17. Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job.

16. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.

15. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

14. Bad cop. No donut.

13. You're not going to check the trunk, are you?

12. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.

11. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on cops?

10. Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?

9. I pay your salary

8. So uh, you on the take or what?

7. Gee officer, that's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning.

6. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

5. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other cars around, that's how far they are ahead of me.

4. What do you mean have I been drinking? You are the trained specialist.

3. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

2. Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.

1. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?





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[Mr. McFeely]

Some good ones, thanks! :rofl:

[USAF_2T2]

Those are classics. There is almost no better way to ensure yourself a ticket than to use one of those.

#9 is used alot. I have a comeback for most of those. Like when they say they pay my salary I usually ask for a raise or I say, "it must suck to know you are paying for the fuel for me to take you to jail."

[beanie baby]

I still laugh to this day when my boss told me this one. My boss is quite a bit younger than I and quite the trouble maker a few years back.

Anyway, he was having a party at his house, the neighbors called due to loud music. My boss was on his cell phone leaning on the door of his car with keys in hand and yes had been drinking. So one thing lead to another and he was arrested. They took him to the station, after putting him through the process, they called his parents to come and get him one thing lead to another, mom and dad wouldn't take him home and told the cops to keep him over night. Sure enough set him off and was wrestling with the cops as they were hand cuffing him and what comes out of his mouth: "Hey there's a ton of money in my pocket, why not just take my money go buy the whole force some donuts and we'll call it even" :doh:
DUMB move on his part!!! :wtf:

[Big_Dave]

I used to work with this guy from Good Thunder. The city has several officers, but they're all part timers, each one working a night or two each week.

Anyways, the guy I worked with was the acting Chief (the 'real' chief had accepted a job elsewhere so my friend filled in for about a year).

Anyways, I knew that Kellon was at home this one night when we had a bonfire / boozefest.

About 11 pm, we got the bright idea to call Kellon. :wicked: :brightidea:

As he picked up the phone, all he could hear was a bunch of us yelling, "We need the number to 9-1-1! We need an emergency shipment of beer!" :yikes: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Boy, did I catch hell at work on Monday. :wtf: Oh yeah, Kellon was my foreman. :wow: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: