new to the trucking world

[thattruckerswife]

hi all i am new at this so please over look how stupid i may sound! my new husband has been trucking for over 20 years we have only been married a few years he was an over the road for the most of 20 years plus but when we got together he was a local driver and was home every nite now he is back to driving over the road and i was told horror stories about how he was out there in the big wide open i guess you can say he was and maybe still is a sweet talking good looking guy that has admitted to all he sowing those oats is now over and to never ever cheat on a good woman again!lol. well here i sit mind you this is only just my 2nd nite alone and i dont know when he will be back home.. and all i can think of is him sowing them oats again because he could get away with cheating again if he should feel the need.all i am trying to say is if a trucker who has had a girlfriend in every state he has been to would go back to cheating because he was aways gone?i would go with him but he said i couldnt go for 3 months something about a rider program??? i am scared he will cheat on me snice he has everyone else in the 20 years driving over the road!!sorry this is so long but i am just worried... :wacko:

[bumble]

It comes down to trust. If he really Loves you he wont stray, if you really love him and he hasnt given you any reason to distrust him, dont.. Not all truck drivers cheat on their wifes/husbands, Most are faithful and will have friendly relationships with people of the opposit gender,its good clean fun no sex involved. Dont be suspicious of your husband untill you have hard proof. Then decide what to do.. I hope all works out for you..

[Foxfire]

There's an old saying about how it takes a special woman to be a trucker's wife. This is very true. The thing about a rider's permit is no lie. Like bumble says it's all a matter of trust. Until he gives you a reason to not trust him, then don't let it worry you. Keep in contact with him via cell phone and/or laptop computer. Sometimes knowing that you are there on the other end of that line means a lot. As soon as he can, he needs to get you a rider's permit and then you can go with him some. I say some because you will find that you need time at home. Remember, you can't put two people in an 8X8 metal box and expect them to get along forever. About 2 weeks is gonna be good.....lol.
Communication is the key. And knowing that you love him (and vice-versa).
Another thing is don't get that ever present Honey-Do list out when he comes in the door. Try to come up with something special for the two of you to do together when he comes home. So what if everything doesn't get done while he is home. It will be right there waiting for him when he comes back home.

[Magnolia]

Welcome to our group.
I am a truckers wife , my husband has been driving for 7 yrs now. We have been married for 13 yrs, been knowing each other for about 25 yrs.
When he first started driving I was worried if he would cheat, but my husband is easy to read, so I knew if he cheated I would know he is a horrible liar.
I trust him with all my heart, he is a good man for the most part .......lol!
Part of being married is trusting each other, and if you don't have trust then you are going to go crazy the whole time he is out on the road.
Hopefully he reassures you that he won't cheat on you, and if he didn't cheat on you before then just believe in him. Tell him that you trust him to be faithful to you as you will be to him.
If you ever need to talk feel free to email me anytime.
Being a truckers wife is not an easy job but it's worth it when they come home. Most get use to it, I never thought I would get use to this life.
But it works for us for the most part. Yes I still miss my husband and sometimes its hard sleeping alone but the good part is u have the whole bed to yourself........lol :yikes: !
If you don't work find something else to do , if you work then that's a plus you have your job to go to everyday instead of sitting home missing him.
It gets easier , just give it time and try to remember he made a vow to you and give him the benefit of the doubt that he will stick to those vows.
Here is my email addy in case you ever need to talk
Magnoliatr@aol.com
Sonya
;)

[Mr. McFeely]

i am scared he will cheat on me snice he has everyone else in the 20 years driving Excuse me for speaking out of turn, ladies, but I'm puzzled about something: he has a 20 yr. record of cheating and you married him anyway? Your concern is probably well-founded.

I'm not saying this is necessarily true in your case, but if someone has a propensity to cheat and has gotten away with it in the past... well, whether they drive local or OTR is immaterial. In other words, if it was going to happen, it probably already would have by now.

Good luck to you.

[Magnolia]

I took her post to mean when he was single he was a wild one not while he was with her.
Correct me if I am wront Truckerswife!

[Big_Dave]

I took her post to mean when he was single he was a wild one not while he was with her.
Correct me if I am wront Truckerswife!
That's the way I read it too.

[Mr. McFeely]

I could be completely off base, yes. If so, I apologize, but she gave me the impression that she knew his track record going in -- enough so that she can't trust him -- and I can't understand her quandry:
i am scared he will cheat on me snice he has everyone else
Maybe it's a difference in semantics. To me, cheating is cheating, whether you're married or just going steady. But then, I'm just a schmoe who doesn't know either participant.

Maybe she should ask the psychologist.. :)

[thattruckerswife]

hello all!
first of all i would like to thank you all for your imput! no i didnt know his history untill after i married him. as if i knew before hand i would not have gotten married, for the sake of not getting my heart riped apart. i am working on putting his past behind him, i guess that is what one is supposed to do with their own as well as someone they love's past.i guess i am just on edge because of this driving otr, he said he didnt want to go back out on the road but some things happen to why he is now out there. i just dont worry about the cheating, i worry for his safety and of course i worry about all truck drivers, snice they are the big reason we all have bread on our tables! so to speak.. i think alot of the drivers out here and know a few people who drive. i just hope my marriage will make it though this and he wont get lost back in his old ways!but again thanks for chattin with me! truckerswife...

[Big_Dave]

i just hope my marriage will make it though this and he wont get lost back in his old ways!but again thanks for chattin with me!
Keeping open lines of communication with your spouse is the first step.

When I was on the road, I'd call home every night at 8:30. It didn't matter how long we'd talk, just so she knew that I was ok and vice-versa.

Feel free to ask questions here, we're here to help.

[thattruckerswife]

thank you big dave it is very nice of you! i have called my husband at least 50 times snice he has been gone tommorrow it will be 6 days! i know bad bad bad! lol.. i just miss him so much! he said he would be back around the 16th for 2 days ..(cant wait) i am happy he is working and takein care of us i will be going back to work very soon so i guess that will help me out alot. i am going to ask him in the morning that maybe we could come up with times to call each other as he is working! and i know it is a very hard job he has! at least it is free for us to talkl as long as we want. again thank you big dave

[Big_Dave]

The reason we picked 8:30 for a time to call was for the following reasons.......

1. Supper is over.

2. Kids were getting ready for bed or doing homework.

3. Usually, all the other phone calls to the house (from daughters friends), were done with by that time.

4. Usually everybody was home, then I could at least talk to them all, even if just for a minute or two.

[beanie baby]

Keeping open lines of communication with your spouse is the first step.

When I was on the road, I'd call home every night at 8:30. It didn't matter how long we'd talk, just so she knew that I was ok and vice-versa.


:clap: :clap: Very good points Dave! ;)

[BigChicken]

I hope that you'll get used to being the trucker's wife at home soon. I've been with my hubby married for almost three years and together for since '95. He's been trucking since '82. Now, working for the most part local. There are quite a few things that I realize.

Having been the only female working with a group of about 15 men for 17 years I became in no time "one of the guys". I could tell your stories about some of them that would make your hair curl. I can also say that not all of them were dogs, but some were. Just like truck drivers, I can't lump them all together. All of the guys in this group became my big brothers and I learned a lot.

Hubby and I were into our 40's when we married, my first marriage. I as well as him had just about gotten all our wild oats out of our system. I trust him and he trusts me. In fact I have more men friends than female.
Actually most of my men friends became his friends too as he is not from my area an knows no one here. We don't discuss the trust issue too often, only to laugh at my female friends and people that learn he is a truck driver who bring up the "woman in every state" thing to me. We both have plenty of friends who have passed away due to AIDS (actually from drug use for the most part). We would never ruin our perfect little world for something so stupid.

Communication is the key. He calls me sometimes too much just to breathe on the phone perhaps for miles. I know I do the same to him. I don't have a problem when he says he's busy and can't talk, likewise he dosen't get bent out of shape if I say I have to get off the phone.

His one company I could go online and actually see where his truck was. Nowdays, most of the time I don't even ask what state he is in. My girlfriends can't understand why I don't even ask. I know (after riding with him many times) that his job is more than I could handle, and I know that he is working, and I call being in the bunk working as he is not home relaxing in that durn recliner which is what he would really like to do.

As nervous are you are and as strange as it sounds it might just get easier for you before you know it. I hope that you will have a chance to go with him to see first hand what aggravations he has to deal with everyday.