Jimbo
February 26th, 2005, 07:01
To start off, let me say that I am a registered Libertarian. I hold no loyalty to either the Republicans or Democrats, but I do feel the Republican party is a lesser of two evils. When I vote, I vote on issues, not party affiliation.
This last Presidential election was a big event, and I had quite a blast at the polls. The following text is taken driectly from an E-mail I sent out to all of my friends. The story it tells is 100% true. Read it and tell me if there is a bigger wise guy out there than me.
Subject: My fun day voting.( not political, but a glimpse into the mind of Jim Smith)
Yesterday I voted, as did all people who treasure their right to vote. Voting is serious business, but I still managed to have some fun. This is not to brag about who I voted for, but rather to give all of my friends what a twisted smart ass I can be sometimes.
I needed a ride to the polls, and called on my good friend Chuck, to bum a ride off of him. He picked me up, and we headed to his polling place first. He votes in a small church in Andalusia, PA. While there, I got into a verbal brawl with a group of Kerry supporters. That was fun. Most people just politely nod, and walk past the workers that are working for "the other side", but not me. When asked if I would be voting for Kerry, I said (and this is an exact quote) "I wouldn't disgrace my right to vote, using it to vote for him". Now I'm not telling a lie here, but the lady's head looked like it was going to come unscrewed. I could almost see fire shooting out of her eye sockets. She started screaming....yes , absolutely screaming....about stolen elections, and murdering innocent Iraqi children. I just walked away, feeling good that I had given this woman a reason for being there.
But the fun didn't stop there. I walked up to the Bush supporters, and said "I wonder what she's so upset about....all I did was ask her why she was here today, when her side votes tomorrow". They got a laugh out of that. While Chuck was inside voting, I got a list of the Republican Candidates from one of the workers. I had some pleasant conversation, and left when Chuck had finished voting.
Now here's where the real fun starts.
When we got to my voting location, the Kerry team was standing off to the left, with the Bush supporters dead ahead of me. As I approached, one offered me a list of the candidates. In a very loud, booming voice, I said "No thanks, I already got one at the last place I voted at". The Bush poll worker looked a little confused, and then asked me where I was registered to vote at. I pulled out all of my voter registration cards, and flipped through them. Sure, they were all copies of the same card, from past elections, but I said "...this card is for Philadelphia...this one's for Bensalem....this one's for Levittown....". By then the Bush guy got the joke. He gives me a wink, and says thanks. I said "Well that's what all of my Democrat friends tell me to do....vote early, and vote often"
I glanced over at the Kerry supporters, who seemed to be upset by something. Especially this one Hag with a cell phone. She grabbed the cell phone, and hit the numbers like she was trying to break the thing. Then I noticed a little white tag hanging around her neck. It said "Democrat Legal Team". Now I don't know exactly what the Democrat Legal Team does, but the thought of a Bush supporter voting more than once seemed to upset her. She spent the next 2 hours keeping an eye on me. Every 5 minutes or so, she would walk around as if looking for someone, then stop when she got to me, and get back to beating up her cell phone. When I got in line, she kept checking my position in line every 5 minutes or so.
When I finally got to where you sign in, the Kerry Hag swooped down like a hawk grabbing a field mouse. She demanded to see my license, and wanted to check my signature. Something seemed to be bugging her pretty bad, so I offered her a quarter, and told her to go beat up the pay phone down the hall, and cut her poor cell phone a break. These Legal Team people seem to have no sense of humor at all.
So, after I got done there, Chuck and I went to get some dinner, having exercised our rights to vote. Voting is serious business, and should not be taken lightly, but if you can have a little fun just before you vote, why not?
I hope everyone I know voted. Even if you voted for the wrong guy, it's still better than not voting at all.
Have a great day.
God Bless The United States of America, and hold dear all those who love, honor, and defend her.
Jim Smith
This last Presidential election was a big event, and I had quite a blast at the polls. The following text is taken driectly from an E-mail I sent out to all of my friends. The story it tells is 100% true. Read it and tell me if there is a bigger wise guy out there than me.
Subject: My fun day voting.( not political, but a glimpse into the mind of Jim Smith)
Yesterday I voted, as did all people who treasure their right to vote. Voting is serious business, but I still managed to have some fun. This is not to brag about who I voted for, but rather to give all of my friends what a twisted smart ass I can be sometimes.
I needed a ride to the polls, and called on my good friend Chuck, to bum a ride off of him. He picked me up, and we headed to his polling place first. He votes in a small church in Andalusia, PA. While there, I got into a verbal brawl with a group of Kerry supporters. That was fun. Most people just politely nod, and walk past the workers that are working for "the other side", but not me. When asked if I would be voting for Kerry, I said (and this is an exact quote) "I wouldn't disgrace my right to vote, using it to vote for him". Now I'm not telling a lie here, but the lady's head looked like it was going to come unscrewed. I could almost see fire shooting out of her eye sockets. She started screaming....yes , absolutely screaming....about stolen elections, and murdering innocent Iraqi children. I just walked away, feeling good that I had given this woman a reason for being there.
But the fun didn't stop there. I walked up to the Bush supporters, and said "I wonder what she's so upset about....all I did was ask her why she was here today, when her side votes tomorrow". They got a laugh out of that. While Chuck was inside voting, I got a list of the Republican Candidates from one of the workers. I had some pleasant conversation, and left when Chuck had finished voting.
Now here's where the real fun starts.
When we got to my voting location, the Kerry team was standing off to the left, with the Bush supporters dead ahead of me. As I approached, one offered me a list of the candidates. In a very loud, booming voice, I said "No thanks, I already got one at the last place I voted at". The Bush poll worker looked a little confused, and then asked me where I was registered to vote at. I pulled out all of my voter registration cards, and flipped through them. Sure, they were all copies of the same card, from past elections, but I said "...this card is for Philadelphia...this one's for Bensalem....this one's for Levittown....". By then the Bush guy got the joke. He gives me a wink, and says thanks. I said "Well that's what all of my Democrat friends tell me to do....vote early, and vote often"
I glanced over at the Kerry supporters, who seemed to be upset by something. Especially this one Hag with a cell phone. She grabbed the cell phone, and hit the numbers like she was trying to break the thing. Then I noticed a little white tag hanging around her neck. It said "Democrat Legal Team". Now I don't know exactly what the Democrat Legal Team does, but the thought of a Bush supporter voting more than once seemed to upset her. She spent the next 2 hours keeping an eye on me. Every 5 minutes or so, she would walk around as if looking for someone, then stop when she got to me, and get back to beating up her cell phone. When I got in line, she kept checking my position in line every 5 minutes or so.
When I finally got to where you sign in, the Kerry Hag swooped down like a hawk grabbing a field mouse. She demanded to see my license, and wanted to check my signature. Something seemed to be bugging her pretty bad, so I offered her a quarter, and told her to go beat up the pay phone down the hall, and cut her poor cell phone a break. These Legal Team people seem to have no sense of humor at all.
So, after I got done there, Chuck and I went to get some dinner, having exercised our rights to vote. Voting is serious business, and should not be taken lightly, but if you can have a little fun just before you vote, why not?
I hope everyone I know voted. Even if you voted for the wrong guy, it's still better than not voting at all.
Have a great day.
God Bless The United States of America, and hold dear all those who love, honor, and defend her.
Jim Smith